


Once Upon a Time

by krazieLeylines



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, ships will be added as they appear in story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 06:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2762549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazieLeylines/pseuds/krazieLeylines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Karkat was a knight in service to Prince Eridan of Alternia, while Dave was the champion knight of Princess Jade of Gaia. In order to stop the ages-long war between the two kingdoms, a marriage was arranged between Eridan and Jade, much to the disdain of both. However, neither race entirely trusted the other, making the entire arrangement even more complicated...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there were two warring kingdoms, and the prejudiced hatred between the two went back generations. One kingdom was of humankind, and was known as Gaia. The second kingdom was of trollkind, and it was known as Alternia. South, and a little in between the kingdoms was a small village called Veilton, which was ruled by neither troll nor human, but rather a group of elders comprising of both races. Veilton was a place of neutrality, and also notorious for its resident witch, who protected the small villa from both the Alternian trolls of the northeast and Gaian humans of the northwest with her most powerful of magics.

Generations of humans had died trying to take down the tyrannical Queen Condescension of Alteria, who had a lifespan that would go far beyond their grandchildren. Century by century, Alternia appeared to grow in strength, while Gaia was forced to the shoreline of the sea, barely able to prevent the trolls from seizing the kingdom.

But this pattern would not last until the end of time. One day the royal family of Gaia was blessed with a daughter. She was beautiful and intelligent, and beyond that she showed signs of magical ability that her family believed surpassed the fabled witch of Veilton herself. It was not long before word of this young girl’s talent reached the Alternian royal courts, and with it, fear of Queen Condescension’s defeat spread through the citizens of Alternia. The troll prophets spoke of a time in which Gaia would rule triumphant over Alternia, feeding into the mass hysteria. 

With her own life at risk, Queen Condescension quickly set to improving her troops, accepting all soldiers from all castes into her armies, even those she would have before hung for their impure bloodlines and mutations. Still, the visions of the prophets did not change: the Queen would perish at the hands of the enchanted princess of Gaia within the decade.

Her time running short, the Alternian Queen looked for new solutions…

\--

Anyway, enough with the world building. You’re a fucking busy guy and you can’t just wait around, twiddling your thumbs, until your audience finally catches up with you. It’s not like you’ve been living this whole narrative since your birth into this crummy casteist troll society. Although you suppose it could be worse. Like, you could be pushing fucking daisies up for the rest of your physical body’s deterioration. Ever since the Queen lifted that law that pretty much banned mutants from existing, you’ve had numerous opportunities to build a decent, if lonely, life for yourself.

But wait, who are you again?

==>Your name is KARKAT CRESTLESS

You have no proper last name because you haven’t the foggiest who had the bright idea to copulate with the mutant blood that is your genetic parent. So since you were born without a family crest, they just call you Crestless. Well, actually, you’re the only one that calls yourself that. Everyone else tends to either call you Karkat, or if they’re part of a particularly nasty type of hemophobic swamp scum, they generally just refer to you depreciatingly as ‘mutant’.

Yes, that’s right; your blood is not one of the twelve legal blood colors that trolls possess. Instead, it is a variant of the lowest of all the hemospectrum castes, the burgundies. Except, instead of being kind of cool looking, your blood looks like some sort of radioactive, neon-colored version. It is also, weirdly enough, the exact same shade of red that human blood comes in. But obviously that is just a weird ass coincidence, because trolls and humans cannot reproduce together, and the very notion that any sane troll in their right mind would even, for a fraction, consider entering into a mating relationship with a human is absolutely repulsive. 

Actually, some trolls do consider it, and even go through with it, if the rumors about Veilton are to be believed, but that’s not something that you’ve thought about in any sort of graphic detail, especially not at night when your blockmate is out for a night with his moirail, and you have the ‘coon to yourself for the first time in weeks, or sometimes even months. Why, that would just be treason! No dedicated knight of Alternia would dare to—

But wait, we’re getting off topic. Didn’t you JUST say you were busy? What’s with all this world building doing, sneaking back into the narrative like that? Who even cares about all this irrelevant shit? The fact is, you’re a knight, you serve the Queen, and you don’t want her to die by human hands.

Which brings you back to why you’re so busy.

Your previously mentioned blockmate, Sollux Son of the Psiichiic, told you to meet him in his study by midday. As an aspiring prophet, Sollux had been working the past year for a solution to save the Queen, despite his personal grudges against her (which had something to do with how she kept his genetic forebear as a slave). Today, Sollux promised you some sort of breakthrough. It isn’t yet midday, but there’s no reason you can’t arrive a tad early and motivate him to finish faster.

==>Karkat: Crash Sollux’s party

It takes you half an hour to storm all the way up the winding stairs to Sollux’s study in your heavy knight attire, but you sweat and swear your way through it and barge into the room.

KARKAT: SOLLU— AUGH!!!

Before you can even choke out your blockmate’s name, a scream of pure horror tears itself from your lungs in a rather undignified way. 

Skin and bones Sollux Psiison is literally half fucking naked, pinned under the body of a much sturdier built troll as they tongue-fuck each other like the goddamn sky is falling. They don’t even abruptly stop at your scream— they just kind of drift apart like their mouths are being held together by some sort of magnetic force.

SOLLUX: karkat you need two learn how two knock  
KARKAT: WHO IS THA— IS THAT ONE OF THE *KITCHEN MAIDS*? SOLLUX, WHY IN THE NAME OF THE QUEEN ARE YOU SEDUCING THE WAITING STAFF?!  
ARADIA: i have a name y0u kn0w  
KARKAT: AND I’M SURE IT’S VERY PRETTY. BUT THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, BOTH OF YOU ARE EMPLOYED BY THE ROYAL FAMILY, AND THIS IS QUITE POSSIBLY THE LAST TIME AND PLACE TO HAVE SOME STRANGE INFORMAL CONCUPISCENT FLING.  
KARKAT: I MEAN, IT’S NOT EVEN *DRONE SEASON*. WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL ARE YOU THINKING, SOLLUX?  
ARADIA: its n0t a strange inf0rmal fling  
ARADIA: im s0lluxs matesprit 0u0  
KARKAT: WHAT. NO, DON’T EVEN TRY THAT, SWEETCHEEKS. SOLLUX IS MY CLOSEST COMRADE, MY BOSOM FUCKING BUDDY, AND I THINK I WOULD KNOW IF SOLLUX HAD FILLED HIS SECOND REDROM QUADRANT.  
SOLLUX: actually aradiia ii2 riight  
SOLLUX: we are mate2priit2  
KARKAT: WHAT!  
SOLLUX: well iit 2tarted liike a month ago  
SOLLUX: iit wa2 ju2t a hookup at that poiint 2o ii wa2nt goiing two bother telliing 2iir iim goiing two waiit untiil my mate2priit and or kii2me2ii2 propo2e2 before ii unlock my cha2iity belt ca2tele22  
SOLLUX: ii wa2 goiing two tell you when iit got more 2eriiou2 but  
SOLLUX: keepiing iit a 2ecret added a certaiin 2piice two the mate2priit2hiip that we werent ready two giive up  
KARKAT: UGH, I DON’T WANT THAT MUCH INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE, SOLLUX, OR WHAT YOU USE TO KEEP A SPARK IN YOUR CONCUPISCENT ENDEAVORS.   
ARADIA: its n0t entirely ab0ut the physical aspect 0f the arrangement  
ARADIA: we 0ften meet at night t0 talk ab0ut his visi0ns as well as 0ther h0bbies we share  
KARKAT: WAIT, I THOUGHT TEREZI WAS THE ONE TO TALK YOU THROUGH YOUR NIGHTMARISH VISIONS?? SOLLUX, HOW IS YOUR OWN PALE HALF GOING TO FEEL KNOWING YOU STOOD HER UP TO CHAT UP A KITCHEN WENCH?  
ARADIA: pr0ud id think  
ARADIA: seeing as shes the 0ne wh0 intr0duced us 0u0  
SOLLUX: ehehe yeah terezii and aradiia are good friiend2 and 2he thought aradiia and ii would hiit iit off  
ARADIA: we didnt at first  
ARADIA: we actually clashed a l0t initially but terezi was right ab0ut h0w s0lluxs rapidly fluctuating em0ti0ns and mel0dramatic self-inflected victimizati0n tends t0 gr0w 0n y0u after a while  
SOLLUX: wow aradiia ii feel oh 2o appreciiated  
ARADIA: what can i say y0ure a delightfully pite0us wreck  
SOLLUX: all the more two love me for ii a22ume

Oh, no. They’re making heart eyes at one another. Abort, abort.

KARKAT: OH. HELL. NO.  
KARKAT: NO MORE NAUSEATING FLIRTING. I ABSOLUTELY FORBID IT.   
KARKAT: AND MORE TO THE POINT. SOLLUX, YOU PROMISED ME PROGRESS ON THE WHOLE QUEEN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT PROBLEM WE’RE FACING. I THOUGHT YOU HAD ENOUGH COMMON DECENCY TO FOCUS YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION ON SOLVING THAT, BUT I GUESS I WAS MISTAKEN ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER.  
SOLLUX: oh 2ave me the 2piiel karkat  
SOLLUX: ii told you two come at miidday but you arriived prematurely and you have no one but your2elf two blame for that  
ARADIA: als0 it c0uld have been w0rse  
ARADIA: y0u c0uld have arrived several minutes later and f0und us in a m0re pr0gressed state 0f undress  
SOLLUX: yeah ju2t be thankful we diidn’t viiolate your viirgiin eye2 wiith the 2iight of a kiitchen wrench2 buttock2  
KARKAT: ......  
SOLLUX: anyway the2e 2pell iingrediient2 need a couple more hour2 two ferment fully 2o aradiia wa2 ju2t helpiing me pa22 the tiime untiil ii could move onto the next 2tep  
SOLLUX: and before you a2k iit2 2tiill goiing two take 2ome more tiime  
KARKAT: THEN WHAT DO YOU EXPECT *ME* TO DO?  
ARADIA: surely y0u must have 0ther errands t0 run  
SOLLUX: yeah the brat priince run2 you pretty ragged 2o why dont you 2ee iif he ha2 any noble que2t2 for you two embark on  
KARKAT: ANYTHING THAT HE HAS IN MIND THAT ONLY TAKES A FEW HOURS WILL BE CHORES BEST LEFT TO THE SERVANTS. ALTHOUGH IT WILL PROBABLY TAKE THEM LONGER NOW THAT THEY ARE DOWN ONE STAFF.  
ARADIA: 0h its n0t a pr0blem at all  
ARADIA: my fell0w maids and i 0ften c0ver f0r 0ne an0ther s0 we may steal s0me time with a l0ver  
SOLLUX: ahh maiid2  
SOLLUX: 2o unbeliievably audaciiou2  
SOLLUX: you 2hould try iinteractiing wiith them more karkat you miight fiill one of your concupii2cent quadrant2 come thii2 drone 2ea2on  
ARADIA: uh  
ARADIA: i w0uldnt  
KARKAT: AND WHY’S THAT?  
ARADIA: t0 be frank n0ne 0f them seem t0 like y0u much  
ARADIA: n0t since terezi exaggerated y0ur faults t0 them directly after y0ur terminated matespritship  
KARKAT: OH.  
KARKAT: WELL, ISN’T THAT JUST THE CHERRY ON TOP OF THIS SHIT PILED DESSERT OF A DAY I’VE BEEN HAVING. I SUPPOSE IF THE INGREDIENTS NEED FURTHER FERMENTING, THERE’S NOTHING I CAN DO TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS. IF THE TWO OF YOU ARE STILL INTENT ON… FINISHING UP YOUR PROFANE ENCOUNTER, THEN I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ASK THE PRINCE IF HE REQUIRES MY HELP IN ANY MANNER.  
SOLLUX: ju2t dont 2ay iin any manner two hii2 face  
SOLLUX: he would take iit a2 liiterally a2 iit can be iinterpreted and we both know thii2  
KARKAT: HIS FLUSHED FLIRTATIONS ARE AN ANNOYANCE, BUT IT IS A COMFORT TO KNOW HE IS THERE AS A… LAST MINUTE OPTION.  
SOLLUX: ii can 2ympathiize  
SOLLUX: although ii dont wii2h two two 2hare a lover wiith you agaiin  
SOLLUX: your jealou2y ii2 horriible two 2wallow you know  
KARKAT: I KNOW. IT’S A WORK IN PROGRESS.

That’s a road that you definitely don’t want to go down, not mentally, not even for some good old world building. Every character has their own dark past, and thankfully, this is the least dark part of yours. It’s really more of an embarrassment than anything else. Which is why it won’t be shared at any point in the narrative… as long as you’re the lead of the narrative, that is.

Anyway… this silence has begun to stretch into an awkward moment, worsened by the fact that Sollux is still without a shirt. That’s your cue to leave, you think.

KARKAT: ANYHOW. I WILL LEAVE YOU TWO TO YOUR NON WORK. PERHAPS, WHEN YOU SEE TEREZI NEXT…?  
SOLLUX: ii wiill remiind her that you are 2orry ye2  
KARKAT: THANK YOU, SOLLUX.  
ARADIA: ill put in a g00d w0rd as well  
ARADIA: despite y0ur gr0uchiness and bias against servants my intuiti0n tells me that y0ure a trustw0rthy man 0u0  
ARADIA: s0 cheer up  
ARADIA: a knight as determined as y0u is sure t0 find s0me way t0 save 0ur queen  
SOLLUX: ahh ye2 2o ii 2ee were 2tiill 2ayiing that liike iit2 a good thiing…

\--

==>Karkat: Find brat prince

Prince Eridan is, in reality, a couple of sweeps older than you are, but that doesn’t keep his infamous nickname from sticking. Although he has improved since he knighted you, (and thus you were allowed to disagree with him without having your head severed from your body) you try to avoid spending any excessive amount of time with him. Whether you consider him a friend or not (and it depends on the day, really), it can’t be healthy to let his personality rub off on you.

He isn’t terribly difficult to find; he is forced to keep a very rigid schedule, which you had memorized long ago. 

You stroll into the northern courtyard, where Eridan is watching the pages spar, and offering them what he probably considers to be inspiring advice.

ERIDAN: noww this is just pathetic ivve seen drunkards dowwn ale wwith better accuracy an grace than you lot  
ERIDAN: dont let your opponent just stab you  
ERIDAN: by the queens name is there any soul in this wworld that still knowws howw to use a shield anymore i feel like all a you arent too keen on its function  
ERIDAN: its vvery simple see you just gotta hold the thing out in front a you   
ERIDAN: no no no not like that it has to be perpendicular to your chest dont just hold that thing out like its a tippin dinner place about to spill itself all ovver the floor howws that gonna protect your soft fleshy body from danger

While you can’t help but chuckle, it was only a few years ago that you yourself were a page, and it was you that Eridan seemed to scold the most. Most of the young pages look like they despise the prince, and that, too, you can remember all too well. But this is no time for reminiscing… even well, yeah, you’re really just here to waste time.

Before you can finish that particular thought, however, Eridan notices your presence, and practically sashays over towards you in open delight.

ERIDAN: hey speakin of fellowws that actually havve half a clue about wwhat theyre doin  
ERIDAN: sir karkat i wwas just thinkin about you  
KARKAT: FLATTERY, AS EGO STROKING IT MAY BE TO HEAR IT IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE, IS NOT GOING TO WIN YOU ANY FAVORS, YOUR HIGHNESS.   
ERIDAN: its not flattery i meant that quite literally  
ERIDAN: come aside wwith me i havve some newws for you that youre really gonna wwant a hear

Curiosity piqued, you follow after Eridan. He leads you towards one of the walls, near the queen’s fountain. His voice turns into that stage whisper tone he likes to do when he’s spreading around gossip.

ERIDAN: you need to get to the south courtyard immediately  
KARKAT: AND WHY’S THAT?  
ERIDAN: youvve got a vvisitor  
KARKAT: OH WOW. YEAH, THAT TELLS ME EVERYTHING.  
ERIDAN: im not tellin you anythin else because its supposed to be a surprise obvviously  
KARKAT: A SURPRISE, HMM?  
KARKAT: YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE WORST AT KEEPING SECRETS. AND TO PROVE IT I WILL FIGURE OUT WHO’S VISITING ME.  
ERIDAN: an howw are you gonna do that  
KARKAT: VERY DAMN EASILY, ACTUALLY. I JUST HAVE TO ASK MYSELF… WHO IN THIS WORLD WOULD ACTUALLY CARE ENOUGH TO PAY ME A VISIT? AND OF THOSE LIMITED PEOPLE, WHOSE APPEARANCE WOULD CAUSE YOU TO SQUIRM AROUND LIKE A BOY WITH TROUSERS FULL OF ANTS?  
ERIDAN: im not squirmin  
KARKAT: YOU ARE SQUIRMING, YOUR HIGHNESS. ALSO SALVIATING A LITTLE, IF I’M NOT MISTAKEN.  
ERIDAN: fine then  
ERIDAN: if youre so clevver tell me wwho came to vvisit  
KARKAT: GLADLY. THE PERSON WAITING FOR ME AT THE SOUTH COURTYARD IS…

==>Be the person waiting for Karkat at the south courtyard

Your name is Gamzee, Son of Highbard, and man, you have sweat through pretty much every layer of clothing you’re wearing by now. Which is fairly weird for you. Your entire life revolves around music and travel. Every court from every kingdom knows of your work, has paid you kindly with their best gold just to hear you play your lute and sing them the most popular songs of the land. As such, you live a life of no cares and no stress. To have anything worry you, even by a slim margin, would normally be a sign of an apocalypse. 

But this is no ordinary day.

Counting your breaths helps to calm your frazzled nerves, and as you do so, you reach to touch the small lump in your trouser pocket. It is unlikely that it jumped from its spot from the last time you checked it a couple of minutes ago, but the reminder does soothe your anxiety enough for the obsessive compulsion to be worth any strange stares you have been receiving by the gardening staff. 

Just a year and a half ago, you met Karkat for the first time in this very place. It would be the first time that you would perform before the Queen, and when you offered to share your opening jokes with Karkat, he was appalled and offended by how informal you’d be addressing Queen Condescension. He managed to convince you to revise the jokes, and well, that’s the short story of how your moirail saved your life for the first (but not the last) time.

Yes, Karkat was your moirail now, and so you took great care to visit Alternia as often as the royal court would allow you to play there.

Just the thought of seeing his face again after the month you’ve been apart is enough to put you ever so more at ease, as long as you don’t think about what you’ve got planned for the night…

Across the yard, you catch Karkat’s gaze. He is on his way towards you, and one last time you check for the object in your pocket.

You are going to need it if you are to propose to Karkat tonight.  



End file.
